my mind is a chaotic mess of confusion and disarray. i find it sad when my peers take note that something is the matter. can it be that obvious? it is even sadder when i’ve no one to talk to about anything. see, i have thoughts like these, but i really try to stay positive. i really do. i try to see the good in it all, but at the same time i feel worn out. one second i feel that this is all just shxt, but then i feel like i am overreacting. i have no clarity, i don’t know if i just tell myself things to humble myself, or if i am how i should be. i don’t really even know what i am talking about. i am horrible at expressing myself. i don’t share what is on my mind. everything is between God and i. i don’t want to seem like i am some mope. i can’t see anymore. i try, and it gets all blurry. minutes after i post this, i’ll make it private or something. i will tell myself to suck it up and move on.

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July 12, 2011

I told you to be patient,
I told you to be fine,
I told you to be balanced,
I told you to be kind.
In the morning I’ll be with you,
But it will be a different “kind.”
I’ll be holding all the tickets,
And you’ll be owning all the fines.